new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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