You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
