Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
