Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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