Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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