dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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