i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
