Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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