Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize