We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
