It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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