Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
