I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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