Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
