Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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