The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
