You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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