Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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