that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
