I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
