One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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