The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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