In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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