I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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