You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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