I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
did you just send me my own nude
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
