dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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