some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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