Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
The Olympian is in my bed
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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