i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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