I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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