it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
