I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize