Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
