You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
