I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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