Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
