there's paper in my vomit.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
