your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
