what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
