Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
