I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize