I just pynch a tree in the face
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
