it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
