why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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