Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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