Define "chronic" masturbator.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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