its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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