maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
