THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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