P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
porn star boner night. come get it.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
