Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
