He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
