It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
my shit smells like andre
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
