her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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