he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
