you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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