She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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