apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
