Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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