haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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