I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
