ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
