so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I am available for nakedness
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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