where am i from again
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
