heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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