woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
