I am full of burrito and curiosity
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
