Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I feel like abortions should bother me more
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
