What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My penis needs a shock collar
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
