508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
